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"The joy thief"
I was driving down the
road, having finally got on my way. I had put out a few fire before
leaving, which had made me late and to top it off some goofball would
not let me into traffic and had the nerve to honk at me at which time I
honked back with a not so nice glare of anger. I was frustrated at
everything including my stupid suburban that would not take to the air
and fly over the traffic that I was stuck in. I finally stop my racing
mind and decided that, once again, my joy had been stolen. If you know
me, you know that my joy does not often get stolen. Even through the
illness and death of my wife, people constantly asked, "how are you able
to maintain such joy?" I've come to the conclusion that there are a few
things that steal our joy:
Worry, fear, anger, not
trusting God, lack of prayer, lack of sleep and just plan sin are the
main culprits.
Phil. 4:6 "Do not be
anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your request to God."
Prov. 29:11"A fool gives
full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."
Psalm 27:1"The Lord is my
light and my salvation--whom(or what) shall I fear?"
There are a lot of reasons
that your joy could be gone today, but know matter why, it shouldn't
be. This does not mean happiness, that's different, joy is more of a
peace with where you are. Maybe at times we could all stop and realize
that what ever has stolen our joy it is not bigger than God.
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"The finger drill"
Only moments ago, I sat at
my dinning room "operating" table with a very sharp pointed exacto knife
in one hand and my three year old son's finger in the other. He had
smashed it in the, very large and heavy, glass fish tank lid. It was
swollen and the nail was full of blood. It must have been throbingly
painful. Being the skillful surgeon that I am, I remember back to the
day's when Dad would pull out his old, rusty Old-timer pocket knife and
start drilling. I did sanitize it first and started doing the same.
Dane could not understand why in the world his daddy would want to cut
off his finger, I am sure he was thinking "it doesn't hurt that bad!"
What he didn't know is that I was about to bring him tremendous relief.
With tears running down his face and all the courage he could muster,
not understanding why, he decided to trust me and reluctantly placed his
finger on the table. The point penetrated through and the blood gushed
out, and that was just more than he could handle. He began to jump up
and down, holding his "Thank you daddy it feels better." My heart was
glad!
Wow, are we ever like that
sometimes. God allows painful things to happen because He knows that it
will bring about His perfect will and endurance in us. We don't
understand why we are getting a finger cut off or a broken relationship,
or the death of a loved one, or a job loss, or the loneliness and on and
on, but God does! All it takes is to place that finger or relationship
or job or heart on the table and let Him go to work. It's OK if we are
reluctant or jump up and down saying "that hurts!" as long as we place
it under His exacto. God must shake His head and say "If only he or she
knew". Just know that whatever surgery is done, is done out of love and
concern for you. And it is so true, in looking back, how many times
have you said "Thanks daddy that feels better".
I wonder what could be
placed on the table today?
James 1:2-3 "Consider it
all joy, my brother, when you encounter various trials(surgery's),
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance"
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"The Storm"
This past Friday, the kids
and I had spent the day together playing, swimming, laughing and just
enjoying the beautiful day. Evening came and after "good night"
stories, hugs, kisses and prayers, they were down and asleep and I was
settled on the couch to watch Texas Rangers baseball. The weather man
broke in to say that there were very sever storms headed this way and we
need to keep and eye on them. I began to flip between local stations
getting weather updates and the strongest of the cells were head right
for Denton. About 9:00 o'clock the meteorologist showed a map of Denton
and the storm and said that there was one particular area of the storm
that had tornadic activity and softball size hail in it. He enlarged
the Denton map to show street of the city and drew an arrow to where
worst
was going to hit. He drew a line over the top of my house and said
expect to be hit in about 5 minutes. It's different being in something
like this alone or with a mate or a friend, but when kids are involved
a weird protective panic can happen, and it did. I called some people
to pray for our safety, gathered the kids and headed for the hall
closet. We sat there, kids reading book and having a ball, for what
seemed like hours. I waited and waited and waited with nothing more
than a little hail and some rain. I finally got up and went back to the
TV. only to see that the cell had split around us and dissipated. I
literally sat there and wept with emotional relief. I put the kids back
to bed, they thought it funny that daddy would get them up for playtime
in the middle of the night, and called my friends to say that we were
fine, they said they had prayed for the storm to go away!
I could talk about the
power of prayer or Gods protection, both of which took place, but that
is not what hit me at the time. The thing that occurred to me is how we
often panic in the storms of life. Most of you probably have some storm
in you life right now that is causing you spiritual or emotional panic.
It is such our nature to have a troublesome situation come up and for
us to immediately go into a tailspin of confusion and fear over it. The
interesting thing is that God never promised that life storms would not
come our way, in fact He sort of says expect them and grow from them.
When Martha and I got married, God never said that He promised a life
long healthy relationship, instead, He allowed a life storm of cancer
and death for Martha, leaving me here with two children and lonely.
What He did promise, is that HE IS IN CONTROL and there is no safer
place to be, than in the center of His will, even if that means being in
the center of what ever storm come along. May I encourage you to rest
more peacefully in your life storm knowing that GOD IS IN CONTROL and He
will not give you more than you can handle.
(1 Cor. 10:13)
Like a child, read a book
and have a little playtime!
keep on keeping on Steve
Leavitt
P.s. The Rangers won!
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"ARMED GUARDS"
A missionary on furlough
told this true story while visiting his home church in Michigan:
While serving at a small
field hospital in Africa, every two weeks I traveled by bicycle through
the jungle to a nearby city for supplies. This was a journey of two days
and required camping overnight at the halfway point. On one of these
journeys, I arrived in the city where I planned to collect money from a
bank, purchase medicine and supplies, and then begin my two-day journey
back to the field hospital. Upon arrival In the city, I observed two
men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for
his injuries and at the same time witnessed to him of the Lord Jesus
Christ. I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home
without incident. Two weeks later I repeated my journey. Upon arriving
in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated. He told me
that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, "Some friends
and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight.
We planned to kill you and take your money and drugs. But just as we
were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26
armed guards. "At this I laughed and said that I was certainly all
alone out in that jungle campsite. The young man pressed the point,
however, and said, "No sir, I was not the only person to see the guards.
My five friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because
of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone. "At this point
in the sermon, one of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and
interrupted the missionary and asked if urge to pray for you. In fact,
the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to
meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those
men who met with me on that day stand up?" The men who had met together
that day stood up. The missionary wasn't concerned with who they
were--he was too busy counting how many men he saw.
There were 26.
This is a great
illustration of the heaviness of prayer. I was praying this last
weekend with a dear friend who reminded me of the seriousness of
prayer. All last year as my wife got sicker and sicker with cancer I
prayed more and more for her to get better and yet the Lord took her
home in November. After that I found myself just praying sort of
mechanically out of obedience. That is not the way God intended
prayer. I really feel we should always pray knowing that God will and
does answer prayer. Maybe not the way we always want but He does answer
perfectly. So pray and expect answers. Mean it when you pray it and as
I have learned, come to God asking for a clean heart and enjoy the
fellowship that prayer brings. Go get 'em!
Steve Leavitt
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"THE SHIPS RUDDER"
Last week, I was
frantically trying to get both kids ready and out the door.(I've decided
single dads don't make very good moms) I had a speaking engagement at a
large church in Dallas, talking to a group of married men on how to be
better husbands and better dads. I had much to say about how they
should treat their children with love. After getting just to the door I
had to put both kids down and go back for something. Not long after
leaving them I heard Madison, my 10 month old, crying. I returned to
Dane, my almost 3 year old, using her head as a door stop. After having
her head bumped 3 or 4 times ,by the door, she decide she had had enough
and cried for dad. Well, as you may have experienced, when your in a
hurry and life is not cooperating we get frustrated and lose our cool.
Dane happened to be the closest recipient of my frustration. I got down
close and yelled "STOOOOOP" clinching my teeth and fists and growled in
anger. Dane, who is very unfamiliar with me doing that, fell face down
and wept real tears in fear and hurt. I had literally scared and hurt
him deeply. While he needed to be punished, he did not need to be
verbally abused. My tongue had and my heart had sinned. At this point
I stopped everything, got Madison situated and ask forgiveness of God
and Dane. Fortunately, kids are great forgivers, but not everyone
people is. How many times have our tongues been the source of either
great hurt or just lack of kindness or encouraging words. Needless to
say, I had just created a great illustration for my talk.
Proverbs
15:1-2 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth
of fools spouts folly."
Sometimes
we speak with unkindness which is unacceptable but more than that we
often pass on an opportunity to encourage with our tongue. What a gift
a kind word is. I have a very special friend, Marty, who has taught me
a great deal about kind words. She never passes on the chance to
encourage me or anyone else she is around. As a result, people flock to
be around her because they know under her wings, a kind word will always
be found. What a great ministry that creates. She has a beautiful
gift.
James 3:4-5
"Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by
strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the
inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of
the body, and yet it boasts of great things. Behold, how great a forest
is set aflame by such a small fire."
May I
encourage us all to not only hold our tongue but to use it in a way so
as to be a light in a sometimes dark world, even when the head bangs of
life come along.
keep on keeping
on
Steve Leavitt
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"The masters voice"
I have a great
dog named ZACK. I have had Zack now for about 6 years. He is now very
obedient and loves on my kids like crazy, but when he was a puppy, I had
to spend a lot of frustrating time trying to train him. We would go
through commands over and over. Sit, heal, stay, stop, come, sit, heal,
stay, come, etc.
One day I had
grown weary of him not getting it right so I decided to take him for a
walk while I rode my bike. We were traveling though a wooded area when
zack spotted his favorite past time, a rabbit. The fast little critter
lead Zack in a few circles and darted across a busy street. Zack was in
hot pursuit and was headed straight for the road with a very fast, very
large truck headed his way. I yelled ZAAACK STOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! Much
to my surprise, he hit the brakes and rested on his rump just beside the
road as the screaming truck zoomed by. No rabbit that day but no flat
dog either.
I have to
wonder how many trucks I could have avoided in my life if I had only
listened to my master. At the time Zack did not know why I was telling
him to stop he just knew that he heard my voice and the word stop meant
for him to do just that. Little did he know that the swoosh of wind that
went by could have cost him dearly. I have also felt may swooshes as I
have listened and obeyed and I am thankful that I serve a God that care
enough to discipline me when I don't get it right in order to save me
from getting flattened. It is also interesting that listening to God
does not always mean to hit the brakes, sometimes it means go for it.
Many times Zack now see's the rabbit and turns to me to ask permission
to go after what he wants, I often reward him. It's nice when I feel
like going after something and God say's go for it. We serve a great
God and although we don't always understand why, to listen to His voice
is a wise thing. May God bless you with the wisdom to avoid being a
pancake!
"TRUST IN THE
LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING, IN ALL
OF YOUR WAY ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE WILL MAKE YOU PATHS STRAIGHT."
Prov. 3:5-6
keep on keeping
on
Steve Leavitt
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"THE APPLE TREE"
Last week I
went out to trim my two apple tree's so that they would only produce the
amount of apple's that their structure could hold. I had failed to do
this last year and with a tremendous amount of rain in the spring and
almost none in the summer, they produced a ton of apple's but were not
able to mature them. I had finished trimming one tree and when I got to
the other, I realized that the tree had totally died. Apparently, the
tree tried so hard to provide fluid and nourishment to the apples that
it had stressed itself beyond what root system could withstand. It's
output exceeded it's intake.
Boy, are we
ever like this as humans. Our pastor has a saying that I have heard
many times: "When your output exceeds your intake, your upkeep becomes
your downfall." I can't tell you how many people I have heard say that
they used to be involved in church but the church wore them out asking
them to do things so they just don't go anymore. This is not the
churches fault. We often have a tendency to over commit or have an
inability to say no and to not set boundaries. We have all said at one
time or another "I am worn out. I have given and given without getting
anything back and I am flat worn out!" Our output exceeded out intake.
Christians are especially bad about this. We feel we more honor God the
more work we do for Him. This is fine until other area's begin to
suffer like family, health, quite time with the Lord, the list goes on.
I am sure you have heard a missionary or a pastor say that they were so
committed to serving the Lord that they forgot their family, I know I
have. I think we could all learn to set better boundaries and to make
sure we are spending quality time with our family, and our Lord. A
balance of these things will be blessed more than anything else, in fact
we are commanded to make our family and our relationship with Him our
most important work of all. Maybe we could all take a minute to reset
our priority list and make sure we are winning the war and not just the
battle. May your Apples be full and matures from an abundant amount of
nurturing intake!
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"Where ya fishin?"
One
of my true loves is trout fishing. I grew up in spending my summers
trout fishing in the crystal clear mountain streams of New Mexico. In
order to catch a beautiful clean trout, I could tie on a neatly tied fly
imitation then present it in just the right way so that the trout would
assume that it was real and engulf it. There are few thing as
fulfilling as seeing the surface of the water swell as the trout would
rise to taste the tiny fly morsel. Unfortunately, I often would find
myself going home with nothing more than cold feet and the memories of
how beautiful the mountains are, even with an empty satchel. One of my
options in this situation (wanting just to catch a fish) would be to put
some nasty old stink bait and find a dirty old scum filled pond and
catch some scanky old googly eyed carp.(nasty fish that nobody wants)
But at least I would catch a fish even if its not what I want. It occurs
to me that we are that way in life. We know what's best or even what God
desires for us, but when it becomes difficult or we become impatient, we
settle for less. How often have we settled for just a little time for
our family or friends because we had something we thought was more
important or dated someone that was much more like a googly eyed carp
than a trout because it was less of a challenge or all we could find at
the time. How about that little carp sin that you just can't get rid of
and it even kind of stinks up yours satchel, but you get used to it and
it doesn't even bother you anymore. Wouldn't it be nice to take home a
satchel full of pure trout that may have taken a little more work and a
little more effort in presenting yourself as a neatly tied package.
I have to
check myself constantly to see if I am just nasty old stink bait fishing
for the googly eyed carp of life or am I working toward being a neatly
tied package, pleasing to God, fishing for the trout purity of life.
May we all be encouraged to not settle for less than the beautiful
purity that God has for us.
keep
on keeping on
Steve
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"The warmth of
walls"
Some
of you have heard this story before but it's worth repeating. When
Martha had been in the hospital along time and I had been bed side with
her, I realized that I had not spent much time with my, then two year
old, son, Dane. I decided to spend a day hanging out with him and after
a morning of wrestling and noogies, we ended up beside the creek that
runs behind our house. This was to be Dane's first fishing trip so we
dug up some "wooooms" as Dane would say, and set out. It wasn't long
before he had reeled in his biggest fish ever, also his first. It was a
whopping three inch long blue gill and felt as big as a house to him.
He was beside himself with excitement. Well, I'm not one to let a great
moment go by, so after pictures (that now hang as a trophy on MY wall)
we placed the fish in our 75 gallon fish tank to keep and watch for a
life time. The next morning we awoke to a crispy critter, lifeless, at
the base of the fish tank. The fish had, foolishly, jumped out. As I
thought over the trauma that occurs when a man loses the biggest fish he
had ever caught in his little life, I thought of how we are much like
the fish. God has placed us in a fish bowl of, what feel like,
uncomfortable boundaries sometimes. There are so many things that we
desire but are not permissible within the will of God. The fish had
been place in a protective environment where he would be feed well, he
would be admired constantly, and have constant care taking. From inside
the tank walls, the fish thought life would be better outside the
boundaries I had placed him in. He did not understand that life outside
of loving boundaries would be a cold, slow, lonely, death. As with us,
about mid jump, he probably realized that he had made a huge mistake.
Unfortunately for him, there was no going back. But we are so fortunate
to serve a God that loving stands and waits in case we jump, so as to
pick us back up and gently place us back where we belong. We sometimes
get bruised or broken, but isn't the tank always comforting to get back
into.
My point is this,
that God does insist that we obey his will. The walls that he places
are there to protect us and bring us comfort in keeping us from pain
that we can not see or understand. As good as life looks outside the
will of God sometimes, there is great reward in staying put.
Matt. 7:21
says "Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of
heaven; but it is he who does the WILL of My Father who is in heaven."
Be encouraged today to enjoy the freedom within Gods will and avoid
being a crispy critter at all cost.
Keep on
keeping on
Steve Leavitt
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"hoeing the garden"
One of the
great joys in my life is steaming or frying up some fresh veggies from my
garden and having the satisfaction of eating what I have grown myself.
If you have ever grown a vegetable garden, you know that this does not
happen easily. You really have to nurture the garden to get it to
produce.
Recently,
after returning from a 10 day trip, I was welcomed by a garden of well
overgrown weeds. Oh, it was still producing fine vegetables and the
plants looked healthy enough, but left alone the weeds would have taken
over. I could not rest until the weed were gone, so I immediately got
the hoe after them. I find this in my Christian life as well. If I ever
take a vacation from nurturing my walk with God, i.e. (spending time in
His word, praying, serving, selflessness) weeds of sin will take over.
Oh, I can still look fine (we learn to do that as Christians) and I can
even still be fruitful in my ministries, but eventually, if I did not
confront these areas, sin would take over and my Christian life would
die. I have to daily not rest, take up my hoe and combat the thing that
want to consume my life, sin.
Luke 9:23
"If anyone
wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross
daily and follow Me."
Keep on
keeping on,
Steve Leavitt
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"Going with the flow"
If you have
followed my life at all over the past year and a half, you know that I
have live quit a whirlwind. You know that in Jan. of last year my wife
Martha was diagnosed with cancer. In June she gave birth to our second
child. In Nov. she went to be with the Lord. In Dec. I started
learning how to be both Mom and Dad to two small precious children. In
March God put a new love in my life. In May we got engaged and we will
be married in Aug. All the while, I was taking 19 hours of master level
courses at Dallas Theological Seminary and now starting my career as a
Christian counselor!
A few weeks
ago, I had the privilege of spending some time in the Hill Country
relaxing and playing in the Perdinalis river. One day Marty(my fiancé)
and I decided to go upstream to these little waterfalls. We took to
the river and started wadding against the flow. It took a while and it
was tiring. Joyfully, though, we enjoyed a slow effortless tube ride
back down, with the current, to where we started.
I have
decided, over the past year and a half, that my Christian life is much
easier tubing down stream with God, rather that fighting the current He
has put me in. Sometimes He places us in some pretty rapid, rough water
which is ever more difficult to fight, but yet this is the water we
fight the most. It is so much more joyful to trust God, relax and just
GO WITH THE FLOW of the river that He has put before you.
Psalm 40:8 "I
delight to do Thy will, O my God..."
"The short
cut to peace is acceptance."
There is
nothing more joyful than tubing downstream in Sonshine!
keep on
keeping on
Steve Leavitt
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"Big rocks"
A while back,
I was reading about an expert on subject of time management. One day
this expert was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive
home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As
this man stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he
said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon,
wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a table in front of him. Then he
produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one
at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more
rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the
class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table
and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and
shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the
spaces between the big rocks. Then, he asked the group once more, "Is
the jar full?" By this time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one
of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and
brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went
into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he
asked the question, "Is this jar full?""No!" the class shouted. Once
again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to
pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at
the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager
beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your
schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things
into it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth
this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in
first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the
'big rocks' in your life? A project that YOU want to accomplish? Time
with your loved ones? Your faith, your education, your finances? A
cause? Teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in
first or you'll never get all of your rocks in the jar.
So, tonight,
or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask
yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put
those in your jar first. Life is a test, so give it your best!
This was so
true in my own life. We so often get busy with the gravel and sand in
our life that we don't get the big rocks in at all. I cant tell you how
many times my busy schedule has forced me to miss my time alone with the
Lord or less important meetings caused me to not take the time to stop a
love someone. (i.e. my children, my spouse, my family, just someone
who needs it!)
Maybe we
could stop and take care of a few big rocks right now.
Keep on
keeping on,
Steve Leavitt
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"Forgiven"
I have been
hearing so much news about the horrendous act that took place in the
town of Jasper, where some men have committed a racially motivated
murder against another man. This has sickened me to know that anyone is
capable of such horrible acts. How could anyone do such a thing? Imagine
for a moment if God came to there jail cell in person and told one of
them that He needed him to repent of his evilness and live a life of
service to Him. Could God actually do that? In fact, He did. If the
story sounds familiar, it is because Paul's conversion in the bible, was
not all that much different. Paul had been killing Christian because he
was prejudice against them and what they believed. God showed Himself to
Paul and asked him to repent.
This
illustration really has more to do with Gods ability to forgive those of
us who accept Jesus as Lord. I see and talk to lots of Christians who
for what ever reason cannot forgive themselves for sins that God has
already forgiven. I don't mean to say that you can sin, ask for
forgiveness and continue in that sin and it's all ok. What I mean is,
that we all have done some pretty bad things in our past and as
Christians we have asked for forgiveness, but still do not feel cleansed
by God. We can even logically and biblically know that God forgives, but
does not take it to heart. God does not forgive and then take it back.
God's forgiveness is like the picture we have all seen of Christ
tenderly holding the lost sheep. When we seek His forgiveness, God
tenderly restores us, even when we make the worst mistakes.
Colossians
2:13 "And when you were dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your
flesh, He mad you alive together with Him, having FORGIVEN us all our
transgressions.."
Be restored
today!
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"Cleaning closets"
A young boy had just
gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if
they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study
and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up,
study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about
it." After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if
they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study
where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have
brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you
didn't get your hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied,
"You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long
hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long
hair...." To which his father replied ... "Yes, and they WALKED
everywhere they went!"
This story doesn't really
apply but I thought it was really cute so I am passing it along.
Marty and I have been
cleaning the house out all morning and I am once again struck at how
much junk I can stuff into a closet so that I don't have to look at it.
I have found stuff from years ago I had forgotten all about. Man, can I
ever pack stuff away in my house and my spiritual life. My spiritual
closets are full of junk that is unpleasing to God. Things that I have
long sense gotten comfortable with. Wow, does it ever fell good to clean
your closets. It's really hot today and I tired of cleaning closets, but
it is so worth it.
If I dig really deep into
my spiritual closet, I wonder what I could find to clean out.
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"Parenting 101"
I have watched an amazing thing happen over the past week. As you know,
I have been raising my children alone sense their mother past away last
November. My sister has really steeped in and loved on them as much as
her own responsibilities would allow, but for the most part, they have
know they have no mommy. As you also probably know, I am engaged to be
married to a wonderful women of God named Marty. Marty has had to be
finishing up some school in San Marcos and just this last week finally
got to move here to Denton. Her and the kids, Madison 1 and Dane 3, have
spent time together over the past few months, but not with any real
consistency. This last week and from now on, Marty has been able to be
here in our home all day everyday with the kids. They have seen us
together as a couple, holding hands, giving hugs and seeing the love
between us. We also started a while back introducing the concept of
Marty being their new mom and calling her Marty-mom or even just mom.
In counseling, I had always heard what a difference the "mom AND dad"
concept makes for children but I never really understood it until now.
My children have changed in drastic ways. They sleep better at night.
They eat better. They are more joyful, peaceful, calm and just all
around more comfortable. Not in just subtle way either, these are huge
changes. I am convinced that it is because they are seeing a healthy
mom-dad relationship that will only get better after we get married.
I see stages of healthiness in kids depending on the parents. One, that
there is a mom and dad in the home. Two, not just mom and dad in the
home but mom and dad loving each other in the home. Three, not just
loving each other in the home, but loving their children and instructing
them in the ways of the Lord in the home. I feel that the more you, as
parents, are able to meets these needs, the better the chance that you
will have of raising godly, well adjusted children. Kids will draw their
security from what they see in their parents and they will often view
God the way they view you.
What a sweet blessing God has given us to in raising our children. How
great the responsibility, how great the joy. Hang in there and love on
your honey and those kids.
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"Trophies"
I am so pumped! The white
tail deer that I shot last Thanksgiving, which I had shoulder mounted is
finally finished and on my wall, along with a pheasant I shot at
Christmas and a deerskin to lay in my study. Wow, they look great. Now
if I can only get that 81/2-pound bass mounted and on my wall, I’ll be
set. Boy, do I ever love trophies. I still have my letter jacket from
high school, my diplomas are on the wall and my homecoming king football
sits atop my bookcase. I wonder how much they mean to God? What type of
trophies does He really desire for me to hang on the walls of my heart?
As I look around the
walls of my heart, I do see things that are pleasing to God. Telling
others about Him, meeting needs of the needy, loving the unloved, etc.
These are all things that we all have done. But the trophy most missing
from my heart walls it TIME ALONE with Him. Oh, I get my power QT in
most mornings, but I really want to learn to sit at his feet and know
Him. What a trophy! I want to better learn to worship Him. I want to
better learn to pray and I want to better learn to soak in His word so
that it penetrates my heart and creates change in my life. Those are the
trophies He desires. Fish, deer, and birds are fine but they are not
eternal. I pray we all seek the trophies that will last for all times.
Ps. 46:10 "Cease
striving and know that I am God"
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top
"Sacrifice and
Security"
Here is a great
story a friend sent this week!
After a forest
fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a
mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird
literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the
base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened
by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he
struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's
wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had
carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them
under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.
She could have
flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. When the blaze
had arrived and the heat had singed her small body, the mother had
remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the
cover of her wings would live.
"He shall cover
thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust" (Psalms
91:4).
______________
This story really
brings home the fact that I am alive in Christ because of the great
sacrifice that Christ made for me. This sacrifice was greater than we
will ever know. Also, I don't think we realize the security we have in
Christ. When the forest fires of life flame up around me, I know that
the Lord lovingly spreads His wings over me. What a great protector and
provider we have in Christ!
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"Marriage"
As most of you
know I got remarried the last weekend. We had a great wedding and
reception. The honeymoon was even better. This is what I want to share
with you. You know that I lost Martha to cancer last Nov. Since then I
had been living as a single man, knowing how nice it is to have someone
to care about you, to have someone to love and hold, but not having
those pleasure any more. Until now. I can not communicate to depths of
joy that Marty brings me in all of these areas. Can I just say that if
you are married and your joy for your spouse is a little dry, please,
please find a way to appreciate them. You do not know what you have
until you lose it. Try to imagine if the Lord took your spouse home
today, how you would feel. What would you regret not doing? What would
you wish you had done differently? Believe me, the most important of all
these is just not being alone. It is such a gift from God to just not be
alone. We all will struggle with difficulties in marriage and with
frustration, but believe me, they are small in comparison.
Love your spouse
and appreciate them. Take time, right now, to call them or tell them how
much you love them. Man, it is awesome to be married. Thanks be to God
for spouses. What a wonderful gift couplehood is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prov. 31:10-12
"An excellent
wife, who can find. For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her
husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him
good and not evil all the days of her life."
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"Take a little time"
Mark was walking
home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had
tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two
sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder.
Mark knelt down
and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going
the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark
discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball
and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other
subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.
They arrived at
Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some
television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some
shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other
around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated
from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where
they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long-awaited senior
year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they
could talk. Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first
met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that
day?" asked Bill.
"You see, I
cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone
else. I had stored away some of my mothers sleeping pills and I was
going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together
talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would
have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see,
Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you
saved my life.
______________________________________________________________
This is a great
story about the blessing you could be to someone. Its not about getting
anything back just about giving to some one when you have the chance.
Who could use a
hug or a hamburger today?
Christ said in
Matt. 25:35-40
For I was hungry
and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me
something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed
clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in
prison and you came to visit me.' "Then the righteous will answer him,
`Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you
something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or
needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison
and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, `I tell you the truth,
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did
for me.'
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"Freedom"
Marty and I were
on our honeymoon last week in Hawaii. We decided to take a large boat
over to a small island for a day of snorkeling. There were many people
on the boat and we got to know a few on the way over. One person in
particular that caught our attention was a man about my age, who was
bound to a wheel chair. I could tell he did not have the use of his legs
and limited use of his arms. I thought this was odd since we were going
to swim and it would be a very difficult task for him. After arriving at
the place we were going to be diving, low and behold, I look up to see
them lowering this man into the water. Salt water allows you to float
very well, so he actually was floating along with his mask on. I am sure
he was enjoying freedom that was unfamiliar to him. You could sort of
feel the excitement of everyone who was watching from the boat. We were
all thinking the same thing. "Isn’t that great! He is able to do be out
of his wheelchair and swim". Later, the atmosphere changed however, when
the music on the boat stopped and the captain came over the loud speaker
and said, "Is there a doctor on the boat? We have a man with a heart
problem on the back deck". There was obvious panic on the boat and Marty
and I hurried to find each other. Just as we did, we saw what was going
on. The Man in the wheelchair was lying on the deck not breathing and
holding his heart. Marty and I quickly bowed and prayed for him and then
watched in horror as they tried to revive him.
Amazingly, within
a few minutes, he had been resuscitated and was sitting up in his
wheelchair talking. I could hear them telling him over and over again,
"No I am sorry, but I can’t let you go back into the water". The man was
begging to get back in! It is amazing what we humans will do for
freedom.
I had to think
about this story in light of us. As clients sit in my counseling office,
I am amazed to see what length people will go for what feels like
freedom. Those that aren’t yet Christians may seek freedom through
money, relationships, respect, work, alcohol, drugs, adultery, etc..,
come to think of it, Christians do the same. We all try to find freedom
from what keeps us down, but the reality is that freedom comes
completely from knowing Jesus Christ as our personal Savior and then
trusting Him that a life of service to Him is worth it. We so often
think that obeying Gods will is binding and that freedom will come from
the things that are displeasing to Him. There is nothing more freeing
than letting go of the things that worry or concern me and letting God
handle then. Letting Go and Letting God equals freedom!
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"Worship"
The beginning of
Sept. always brings one of my great loves. Dove hunting back home in the
Panhandle of Texas. I grew up on a ranch just out side of Amarillo where
I was blessed with the beauty of Gods creation. Our ranch sits on the
caprock of the Panhandle and on a clear day you can see through the
valleys and hills for about 40 miles north. My brother and his family
still live there in the house we grew up in. You never know if you are
going to see deer, antelope, rattlesnakes or any other of the things
that this land produces, but one thing you can usually count on in early
Sept. is dove and plenty of them. This last weekend was no exception. We
got their late Thur. Evening and by Fri. morning I was perched atop my
hunting bucket, shotgun in hand, waiting for my first bird in the bag.
As I waited there in the silent beauty, with no buildings, cars, roads
or noise, only nature. Although remarried now, I was revisited by a
sensation that I have been struggling with ever since Martha, my first
wife, past away. The lack of worship for the Lord. I have been very
satisfied with my love for the Lord and my ability to study His word and
my prayer life, but sitting there in this environment made me want to
worship Him. By this I mean to be able and sit quietly and know that He
is God. To know that not only is He is in control but to know that He
knows me intently and loves me unconditionally. Sitting there looking at
His creation really brought that home to me. I don’t want to be
mechanical about my relationship with Him. I want to more experience Him
and His love. It was a good time for that then and I want it to be a
good time for that always.
I pray the same
for you. If you are have trouble with that, I suggest getting away,
outside of you environment and get alone with Him somewhere and know
that He is God. May God bless you today.
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Seeing the heart
THE OLD FISHERMAN
Our house was
directly across the street from the clinic entrance of John Hopkins
Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rent the upstairs rooms
to out patients at the clinic.
One summer
evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened
it to see a truly awful looking man. "Why, he's hardly taller than my
eight-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body.
But the appalling thing was his face lopsided from swelling, red and
raw.
Yet his voice was
pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to see if you've a room
for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the Eastern
Shore, and there's no bus till morning." He told me he'd been hunting
for a room since noon but with no success. No one seemed to have a room.
"I guess it's my face... I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says
with a few more treatments . . ."
For a moment I
hesitated, but his next words convinced me: "I could sleep in this
rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning."
I told him we
would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch. I went inside and
finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he
would join us. "No thank you. I have plenty." And he held up a brown
paper bag. When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to
talk with him a few minutes. It didn't take long time to see that this
old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me
he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children, and
her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury. He didn’t
tell it by way of complaint in fact, every other sentence was preface
with thanks to God for a blessing.
He was grateful
that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of
skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.
At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children's room for him. When I got
up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man
was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for
his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, "Could I please
come back and stay the next time I have a treatment? I won't put you out
a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair." He paused a moment and then added,
"Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face,
but children don't seem to mind." I told him he was welcome to come
again. And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the
morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest
oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before
he left so that they'd be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4:00
a.m. and I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for
us.
In the years he
came to stay overnight with us there was never a time that he did not
bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden. Other times we
received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and
oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf
carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these,
and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious. When
I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our
next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. "Did you keep
that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose
roomers by putting up such people!" Maybe we did lose roomers once or
twice. But oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their
illnesses would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will
be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept
the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.
Recently I was
visiting a friend who has a greenhouse, As she showed me her flowers; we
came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden chrysanthemum, bursting
with blooms. But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented,
rusty bucket. I thought to myself, "If this were my plant, I'd put it in
the loveliest container I had!" My friend changed my mind. "I ran short
of pots," she explained, "and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I
thought it wouldn't mind starting out in this old pail. It's just for a
little while, till I can put it out in the garden."
She must have
wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a
scene in heaven. "Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have
said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. "He won't mind
starting in this small body."
All this happened
long ago-and now, in God's garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.
The LORD does not
look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD looks at the heart."
(1 Samuel 16:7b)
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"Titanic"
Well I finally did it!
Marty and I rented the movie Titanic, and for the first time I got to
see the enormity of how awful this disaster was. As I watched the ship
fill with water, tip up, break in half and sink to the bottom of the
Atlantic, I thought what a terrible way to die. To be forever entombed
in the deepest darkest depths of the sea.
I was reminded of a story
I heard an old preacher tell one time. The story goes that he had an
older gentleman that always sat at the front of his church and would
"amen" disruptively each time the preacher would pause. It finally got
so disruptive that the preacher had ask the man if he would kindly
refrain. The next Sunday the man tried but could not hold his tongue.
The preacher decided to ask the man if he would sit in the closet at the
back of the sanctuary, knowing that the man was hard of hearing and
would not be able to hear the sermon and "amen" all the way through.
Half way through the sermon the congregation could not help but to hear
the man saying "amen" as loud as they had ever heard him before. After
the sermon the preacher asked the man what he was amening. The old man
said he got board and all he could find to do was read some old national
geographic about the sinking of the titanic and realized that that is
how deep the Lord had buried his sins and he could not help saying
"amen".
It’s true, God has been so
gracious to us to bury our sins so deeply. So often we choose to not
allow ourselves to be forgiven even after God has. How often do we carry
a burden that is not ours to carry. Christ said that He carried them to
the cross.
In my counseling office I
see many who are still struggling with being forgiven over things that
have been forgiven along time ago. What a joy to feel the freedom in
Christ to know that when we make mistakes, He lovingly picks us up,
dusts us off, and restores us once again. Praise God for His
forgiveness.
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Deer Hunting
It was my last chance for
the weekend to hunt and time was almost up. This last weekend was
opening season for bow hunting deer and hunting antelope. I had already
bagged a beautiful buck antelope and was now sitting at the end of a
field of maze with my eyes on the largest beast of a 12 point mule deer
buck I had ever seen in person. It was a monster, the kind hunter’s
dream about getting a shot at and he was 10 yards away, staring at me. I
thought I had outsmarted him and gotten into a position to wait for him
to expose his kill zone. I was proud of my patience because the night
before I had impatiently gotten up to move around only to find that I
had a buck and two doe’s right behind me blowing any chance of a shot at
them.
Looking back I realize how
many times I have not patiently waited on God to do carry out His will.
How often I had gotten restless and moved toward my own desires rather
than waiting on what I knew God was doing, even though I didn’t like it.
But not this time. I knelt
down and waited for the monster to clear the maze field and get a shot.
I guess there is a reason that he was so big, old and wise. As I drew my
bow and looked up hoping to see him clear about 30 yards away, I soon
found that he was on to me and moved toward me walking straight up on
me. So there I was, bow drawn in the other direction, stretching my neck
to see over the maze to see that he was 10 yards away breathing down my
neck. Wow, what a sight. My heart was beating out of my chest and I
could not even breath. The moment I moved to aim he was gone.
No deer that day, but a
good lesson in waiting on God. My patients had gotten me closer than
most hunters will ever be to a trophy of that caliber. God has been very
gracious to me when I have tried to make my own desire happen. What a
peace when we wait on God and allow His will to dominate our life. What
is it today that your are not waiting on? What could you do to give that
area back God and let Him have it? Let Go and Let God.
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Trials of Life
1.31.01
As you may know, I lost my first wife to cancer in 1997. I was left
with two small children, still in school and no job. There were many
times I felt hopeless and lost and lonely. Having been in the ministry
for 10 yrs, I was hurting so I sought answers from God.
Now as a Christian counselor, I see many hurting people. Most
seeking answers for their situations. Part of my job is to try to help
them move through their pain. Here is what I have come up with.
First, we may never understand why God does what He does. Look at
what Christ said about trials.
John 9:1-3
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked
him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born
blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this
happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
God always has a perfect reason for allowing trials. The bible also
says:
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
We do know that even in tough times God does say that he can comfort
us.
2 Cor. 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all
our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort we ourselves have received from God.
We have to be willing to place our trust in God for the hope that can
be found in him.
1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In
His great mercy, He has given us new birth into a living hope through
the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…
Psalm 42:5
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior…
Anyway you look at; difficult times are going to happen in life. The
question is, "how are we going to deal with them?" There are answers in
having a godly perspective. He loves you deeply and will not leave you
where you are.
I now have remarried to an incredible woman of God.
We have a beautiful baby boy together along with my first two children
who only know her as "mom". I have a wonder counseling practice, seeing
more people than I ever imagined and I love God more than I ever thought
possible. I have incredible peace, joy and hope in my life.
He says to forget(the pain) of what lies behind and
look forward to what is ahead… Take it from someone who knows, you
can get through hurt and you can have your hope back.
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LIGHT IN DARKNESS
Most of us here in Texas, were a little uneasy recently. We thought
that the 7 armed and dangerous convicts were running around our state.
The 7 had supposedly been spotted at a bank in a near by town. I
remember leaving my counseling office late one night. I had never
realized how dark it was in my parking lot before. I could barely see my
truck, much less where to put the key. I looked all around to see if
there was a light out that must have been shining all those nights
before. No light, it just felt darker and creepier than ever before.
Boy, was I ever wishing for a lighted parking lot. As I was looking for
the keyhole on my truck door, I heard an angry voice behind me. I turned
to look at a man walking by on the street yelling and waving his fist at
some invisible person that had apparently ticked him off. Believe it or
not, I was actually relieved to see only him. I finally got the door
unlocked and jumped in. I locked the door and quickly drove off.
I can remember times in my Christian walk when all I wanted was a
little light on my darkness. How about you?
John 8:12
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the
world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the
light of life."
Our darkness can be a sad time in our life, a trial, or just plain
sin in our life that we can’t shake off. The problem sometimes gets
worse by some confusing noise that frighten us or distract us away from
God’s light.
What we usually hope and pray is for God to shed a little light on us
so we don’t feel so confused and scared. We desire God’s comfort.
2 Corinthians 4:6
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness" made his light
shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory
of God in the face of Christ.
God is so willing to comfort us; we just have to be willing to look
for the light. Maybe this means that we need to close our eyes and trust
God to lead us through the darkness or maybe we just need to let go of
the things that are keeping us from His light. Either way, we need to
seek God’s provision and trust that His will is perfect. His love for us
is never ending.
Romans 13:12
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside
the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
2 Cor. 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father
of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our
troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort
we ourselves have received from God.
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2.7.01
50 Rule for parenting
It's customary in the Leavitt home that at bedtime mom or dad and the
kids congregate on one of the beds for either story time, puppet show,
role playing, wrestle mania or gymnastics and almost always prayer time.
Tonight as we gathered, I was informed that I would be "baby" and Dane
(5) and Madison (3 ½) would be "mommy and daddy". I found out that I was
sick and in need of my temperature taken and about 40 shots. Baby cried
with each shot and needed mommy and daddy’s love to make it through.
Daddy begged, "please no more shots, they hurt baby". Mommy and daddy,
overcome with compassion agreed and mommy said, "we wuv baby and don’t
want to ever hurt baby again".
I have to give my 5 year old two allergy shots a week. He has to
endure the pain of a shot to feel relief from allergies. As parents we
some times have to make hard choices to bring about long term relief for
our children.
I have thought of 50 choices or rules that parent need to make for
the better or their children. Here they are:
50 Rules for Parenting
1. Parents, be accountable to each other.
2. Each child is different They each require different training
methods.
3. Don’t let you child split mom and dad. (ask one if the other say’s
no)
4. Discipline/Punishment (Punish the action/discipline the child)
If you punish the child, the child feels emotionally beat up.
Never make their negative action about you (You make me…. You hurt
me… etc.).
Tell them what God thinks about their action good or bad.
5. Reward vs. Pacifier (Rewards are good. Giving something to shut
them up is not).
Short-term rewards are more effective that long term rewards.
6. Child actions usually reflect what they have been taught.
(Whining and fits usually get more response than soft request.)
7. Parents need to be able to say; "I am sorry" "I was wrong".
8. When children say, "I'm sorry" or "forgive me" reply "your
forgiven" not "It’s OK".
9. Be consistent with love, rules, discipline and punishment.
10. Love them enough to discipline them.
11. It is always easier to ignore than to address.
12. Make your children wait and not interrupt you.
13. Give more yes's than no’s.
14. Don’t criticize your children, especially in front of others.
15. Meet their love language needs. (touch, quality time, acts of
service, gift giving, affirmations)
16. Try to identify what they are really saying not what the are
screaming.
17. Speak truth. Don’t make up lies to soften issues.
18. To much TV or computer games equal brain cloud (grumpy, sassy,
etc.)
19. Be forgiving
20. Be gracious
21. Play with them
22. Hold them
23. Your teenage daughter will get love from some man, somehow. Let
it be dad for now.
24. Take you kids on dates
25. Boys need their dad’s time
26. Girls need their dad’s time.
27. Don’t overpressure for performance. You will create a
perfectionist, pretender, or a sloth.
28. The first few years are critical for bonding. Many life long
traits are formed here.
29. Never Never Never Never raise your voice in anger to your child.
30. Give your child quality time.
31. Stop, look and listen to your child.
32. 1st time obedience is a must. Teach them this concept.
33. Yes is yes and no is no.
34. Never argue with your child.
35. Allow your child a voice and an appeal, but not an argument.
36. Dads, do not let your sons speak disrespectful to their mother!
37. Place your child’s need above your own. Don’t be selfish with
them.
38. Take appropriate time for yourself. Set Boundaries.
39. Your spouse comes first then the children. (Don’t put them in the
center of the marriage)
40. Have fun with your kids.
41. Be creative with your kids.
42. Teach them the value of money.
43. Stand firm on biblical mandates, but be very careful with rules
and convictions that are your own not
necessarily mandates from God.
44. Love your child unconditionally. Don’t place stipulations on your
love.
45. Forgive, love and grant mercy the way God does it, generously.
46. Allow your children to practice flying so that when they leave
the nest they soar.
47. Children view God the way they view their dad.
48. Children will view the church the way they view their mom.
49. Show your children how God views the church.
50. The best gift a dad can give his children is to love their
mother.
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Anxiety, Fear and Worry
2.13.01
A Christian female client sits in my office and tells me, "I have
trouble breathing sometimes, my fingers and toes get tingly, I have
indigestion, fatigue, stomach irritations, cloudy thinking, no energy,
sometime shaky, fearful, chest pain, heart racing, hot, and sweaty."
This client tells me she often feels like she is dying. After a series
of questions it is determined that she is having anxiety attacks.
I am finding more and more Christians that are suffering from stress,
fear, and worry which leads to anxiety attacks. Some people struggle
with the extreme, panic attacks.
I personally can relate, because shortly after my first wife past
away, I began having anxiety attacks. I was unsure of what was wrong
with me. I just thought that something terrible was going on with me
physically. Before this period in my life, I never struggled with
emotional difficulties. I did a great deal of public speaking and lots
of socializing, but that all came to a sudden halt. I would panic to
even think of being out of my comfort zone.
It has been 4 years of work to get passed my anxiety. I am just now
starting to speak again and rarely feel those anxious feelings.
As a Christian counselor, I began to try to figure out why so many of
us suffer from fear, stress, and worry. The bible speaks so much about
us not having these qualities.
There is a verse, which I feel sums up the issue and gives us answers
to these questions.
Philip. 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about
anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
First of all, the bible tells us that instead of being anxious to
take our fears and burdens to the Lord in prayer. We need to pray about
our fears and give them over to Him. He asks us to allow Him to bear our
burdens. Why don’t we take Him up on this? I don’t know, but so often we
don’t. Secondly, we are to petition Him. Why do people sign petitions?
To get something accomplished! If we want to lessen our burden, we need
to take action to accomplish this. Thirdly, we are to present our
request with thanksgiving. Why this? When you take time to thank God for
what He has done for you, you begin to realize how much He loves you.
Take time to thank Him for your salvation, your family, your blessings,
and even your trials. (James 1 talks about this)
Doing these three things will put a better perspective on your
situations. Sometimes it helps to get your mind off of you and on the
Lord. When you learn to do these things, the last part of the verse
happens.
The peace of God will begin to guard your heart and your mind.
I remember in the darkest hours of my anxiety, the only peace I could
find would be to think of God’s love for me. To know His will is
perfect, and although I did not understand, He did. He will not leave
you where you are. He is a forward thinking God and desires for you to
move forward yourself. Take advantage of the wisdom that Philippians
4:6-7 has to offer you.
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I’m Precious to God
Last week my 5-year-old son came home from pre-K school. He told
me something that crushed my heart. He said, "Nobody wanted to play with
me. Nobody likes me." I was flood with my own memories of insecurities
as a child. I hurt deeply for him.
The more I counsel hurting people, the more often I see people who
never get past this stage in life. I listen as they speak about: the
pain of an overly critical mother, the scars from an un-loving, harsh or
absent father, the feeling of abandonment or worthlessness, even a
spouse that refuses to love them the way God calls them to love. These
are issues that can haunt some people for a lifetime.
It always comes down to what someone feels that they are worth. The
problem is that our fellow man will always let us down.
The solution is that God will not. We have to be
willing to accept God’s perception of us in place of mans’. God sees you
a precious, wonderful, and beautiful. He sees you as worthy enough to
allow His own Son to be sacrificed for YOU! If we can see ourselves the
way God sees us, we are much more likely to feel as though we have
worth.
Almost all of the people who come to see me are told to get and read
Robert McGee’s book called "Search for Significance". It is the second
best resource I know for helping people understand God’s view of them.
The first best is, of course, God’s word.
Psalm 139 speaks of God’s intimate involvement and tenderness in our
personal lives. I have included the text in this thought of the week
with my commentary from a counselor’s perspective.
Psalm 139
O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
(God has searched and knows you
personally!)
2You
know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3You
discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
(He knows absolutely everything
about you)
4Before
a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
5You
hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6Such
knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
(David is overwhelmed by how well
God knows him)
7Where
can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8If
I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are
there.
9If
I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10even
there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
(There is no escaping God’s guiding
hands of love)
11If
I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12even
the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13For
you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's
womb.
(God choose your eye color, hair,
everything about you)
14I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
(You are wonderfully made. God does
not make trash! He made you wonderful!)
15My
frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths
of the earth,
16your
eyes saw my unformed body.
(God saw you as an embryo,
unformed. He has always known you.)
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
(God knew your whole life before
you were born. He has allowed your trials for a good reason)
17How
precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18Were
I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of
sand.
(I believe this to mean ‘God’s
thoughts of you. God has more precious thoughts of you than are
grains of sand)
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19If
only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20They
speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21Do
I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,
and abhor those who rise up against
you?
22I
have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
(Sounds like David needed a little
of Gods love here)
23Search
me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(The only real peace is
to let God search you and change you. He will!)
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